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A Rain Forest Died For Their Sins:
The Plague of Memos

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To: All adjunct teaching faculty

From: Dr. Emmett Dodson

Date: March 30, 2001

Re: Your benefits

We regret to inform you that all adjunct faculty will be subjected to random drug testing, strip searches, and anonymous rude phone calls in the middle of the night.

You will still get the teacher discount on snack cakes and coffee in the cafeteria, but you must show your ID to receive fifty cents off each item. I have been informed that "lattes" and other speciality drinks are not included in the discounts due to the high cost of froth. I hope that makes sense to you because I have no idea what I just told you.

If you have any questions, just ask my secretary.


Dr. Emmett Dodson

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