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50 Shades of Grain: A Beer Snob's Guide to Literary S&M
by Bev. N. Busch
Increasingly, the confluence of cultural criticism and gustatory theory flows into works both brightly hoppy and darkly troubling. Busch's paper is of that strain, as she brews up a heady concoction redolent of the barley legal and the high-gravity sting.
Nattering Nabobs of Novosibirsk: Post-Soviet Russia, Neo-Colonialism, and the New Agnew, an Interactive Rhetorical Map
by Vilem Corundum
Corundum's technological savvy notwithstanding, Putin's march across the post-Soviet world shows startling parallels to Nixon's "Southern strategy," both leaving in their wakes scorched earth, burnt bodies, and seething hate: a xenophobe's vacation planner!
Lumenocity: Enlightening the Boomers Through Online Brain-Training Software: A Millennial Jeremiad
by Mike Scamlon
A paper that should rightly be measured in pure candlepower, Scamlon shines a light both on the sketchy science of online "brain-training" and on the utter gullibility of the generation at which it is targeted. In the end, we're left with the disturbing realization that maybe it's necessary to bilk the Boomers: the generation that was taught to "buy the world a Coke" can only know when through the wallet they go.
50 Shades of Bray: The Donkeyman Chronicles, a Reappraisal
by E.A. Asinus
While we support the need to more deeply understand this disturbing chapter in literary history, we also fear that we will never quite understand the author's obsession with recasting Abraham Bray as a latter-day, postmodern, subaltern superhero. Bottom as Shakespearean archetype we get, but carrot-and-stick-based sexplay we just don't see as a viable means toward widespread revolution.
Squirmin' on the Mount: Christology as Generalized Discomfort Disorder, a Subreddit in 10,000 Trigger Warnings
by Doxx O. Logy
Logy's presentation read like a dizzying stream of comment threads, each in turn more outrageously racist and misogynist than the last, but, in the end, all of them amounting to a deeply satirical self-indictment of all who scrawl on the internet's virtual walls.
W.G. Diebald: Electronic Voting Machines and Automated Election Fraud as Internal Epic, an Investigation in 10,000 Ballots
by Santo Austerlitz
As intense (and verbose) as his subject, Austerlitz's analysis is both as heart-wrenching as it is logical, sententious as it is painstaking. But we still like our villains of the soulless variety and refuse the buy the idea that Kris Kobach is just trying to work through some deep-seated, if totally imaginary, childhood trauma.
Pitches, Part 2