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Spring Bean Cleaning
by E.W. Wilder

As often as Newton attempted to play off of the Ginsberg classic "Howl," he was not very often successful. Until now, nothing longer than the fragmentary attempts previously published in this journal were known. Recent research into old files in the Newton family home (old filing cabinets, specifically, whose fascinating contents could be cause for analysis - perhaps comprising an entire book) has unearthed a much more fully developed take on the aforementioned beat poem.

We present it here in its entirety, as written (or as closely as Newton's often problematic handwriting will allow). "Bu'gly," after much research into obscure slang, has been discovered to be a compaction of the phrase "butt-ugly," the third most ugly thing there could be, with "fu'gly," a compaction of "fucking ugly" being the penultimate in ugliness, and ultimate ugliness being deemed "fu'bu'gly," a compaction of "fucking butt-ugly."

Special thanks to "Bubs" and "Chee-to" at the Fluid Flipper Arcade for their linguistic assistance.

- E.W. Wilder

Bu'gly

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