A Tale of Two Bushes: George W. and Jeb
as the Rulers of Sodom and Gommorah
By Mittens DuBois-Dugan
Every March, millions of drunken sex-crazed young "adults"
converge in Texas and Florida for a week of reckless abandon and sinful
merry-making. While this is not a new trend, it is not acceptable Christian
behavior. As supposed Christian, Republican moral legislators given the
responsibility of leadership as granted by their constituents, the Brothers
Bush must put an end to this debauchery.
I find it disheartening that the two centers of hedonism-Daytona Beach
(Sodom Beach) and South Padre Island (Gomorrah Island)-are located in
states governed by Jeb Bush and George W. Bush. Other destinations have
beaches and temperate climates (such as California, Hawaii) and others
have long-standing traditions of being a sin capital (Las Vegas). Yet
most id-powered college students pick Florida or Texas as their destination.
Why? Because the Bushes encourage it with their own actions.
Yes, the Bushes were young once. I was too, but you never saw me getting
a lap dance from an African-American single mother while snorting a nostril-full
of cocaine. I never "did lines," "smoked dope," or
even drank. When we're young, we all make mistakes. I once forgot to put
the milk back in the refrigerator after getting my cereal, but I LEARNED
from my mistakes. I asked for forgiveness, not from the American people,
but from God, the ultimate decider of fate. These brothers are not the
only Bush children to have moral deficiencies: we mustn't forget Neil
Bush and his little savings and loan problem. Where did this family go
wrong? Maybe there was a reason why George Herbert Walker Bush was not
re-elected to a second term.
I can't deny that Bill Clinton has not been a stellar model for our children.
He, after all, committed adultery in the Oval Office, lied about it, and
did all sorts of unsavory things. We didn't know that when we initially
voted for him-but we do know that George W. Bush is as morally bankrupt
as one of his brother's savings and loans. Let us not make the same error
twice: let's learn from our mistakes and avoid becoming addicted to terrible
We must stop these brothers from turning the entire country into a drug-powered
orgy. The final choice at the election box is yours, but I suggest that
we avoid cocaine being ruled, like as Reagan did with ketchup, as a vegetable
for our school lunch program. We can't let Spring Break last all year
long: we have too much responsibility to protecting our national pride
and integrity. Let's not become the United States of Immorality.