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Postmodern Village
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Writing and Responding: Voices in the Postmodern Age
A Report on the 7th Annual Postmodern Village Conference
January 15-19, 2000

Arrests Were Down!
Happy cop.
While on the face of it a good thing, the fact that arrests for this year’s event were down some 20% from last year might also demarcate a certain tepidness in the contemporary convention-going crowd. Indeed, historically the number of arrests has roughly correlated to the inventiveness of the work displayed, and this year seems to be little exception: even the most elaborate of this year’s presentations, “Sophistic Overtures in the Dark” was largely in obvious relationship to the work presented, leading one to question its true worth. These facts simply prove the long-standing adage: True genius is a rowdy consort.
 

But Property Damage Was Up . . .
Unhappy cop.
So, in the final estimation, Writing and Responding: Voices in the Post-Modern Age’s excitation to creativity ratio evened-out. It should be noted, however, that the vast majority of the property damage to the Wassergate Hotel came in the form of the fireball created for the cooking portion of the presentation of “The Totemic Sausage.” Unfortunately, this was entirely accidental, being caused by an unexpectedly high discharge of propane gas.
 

I Heard Lacan’s Winged Chariot Drawing Near

Next time, folks, let’s loosen up a bit and remember the malicious nature of language and society: a literary tradition of violence and oppression should be duly represented in papers pertaining to it. No one can forget, after all, the great jouissance of Lighting the Sign, the PMV conference of 1997, with its live demonstrations of a genuine, period iron maiden. Part of the ongoing series on dysfunctional attitudes in popular music, the presentation featured, along with a question and answer period, an opportunity for audience members to experience the engine of torture themselves, thus completing the suturing of signifier and signified in a quite dramatic way. We were all brought back together with the infinite Other, and some of us still have the scars to prove it.
 

Facilities and Food

Unlike last year, the staff (no need to call them the staph this time) of the Wassergate provided excellent food and an amazing tolerance for Otherness. Last year, as you may recall, was a true gastronomical adventure, many of us experiencing Sartre’s existential precepts firsthand. And then there were the hamburgers!

As a possible break with tradition, we are considering making the Wassergate Metroplex our permanent conference home, pending negotiations with both of our insurance companies.
 

The FTF chair and fellow drunkards.Cash Bar

This year exceeded expectations at $60,000. As always, the cash bar is operated as a source of charitable income for our Foundling Theory Fund, a non-profit dedicated to saving theories other fields of study seem to have abandoned in the name of so-called “progress” and “scientific accuracy” (as if those notions weren’t inherently patriarchal and fervently Capitalistic anyway).

Last year FTF managed to spend $40,000 to renovate and restore Freudian and Lacanian psychology, efforts we consider a great success. We have been informed that there is great need in the area of Marx, especially after recent developments in China and on Wall Street. Our Cuban delegation will keep you informed.
 

Conclusion

Ultimately, Writing and Responding: Voices in the Post-Modern Age was a mixed success. The deep social injury keeps seething from our Delegation of the Marginalized, and Cultural Criticism keeps issuing forth reaction to the ever-expanding world of mass-media, although there are still a few questions about he seriousness of their enterprise.

All in all, there is much room for entrenchment and militancy, which will keep us all looking forward to next year.


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