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2016 Postmodern Village
Conference Report and Product Update
Says Me Street: Lessons, Libertarianism, and The 'Lectric Company, How Success Leads Us to Selling Out, or How to, How to Get onto HBO
by Elmaux Galtspann
The wholesale takeover of education by business models based on free market principles have now made the next, logical leap, into the once communitarian world of pre-K TV. Sesame Street moving to HBO just reinforces the idea that any product with market value must not be allowed to be consumed by the non-premium-cable crowd, lest they become dependent on the life lessons of government subsidized garbage-pail grouches.
Porkchop's Lament: Jewish-American Literature and Reformist Forces in the Land of the Free, an Analysand's Counter-Transference
by Phillip Broth
Broth's schmaltzy style somewhat undercut the deeply psychological message of immigrant identity crisis reinforced by analytical dialectic. Delivering the entire presentation while laying on a couch, placing the audience in the position of analyst, was brilliant, implying the culpability of all of us in the inability of the author to keep kosher. Free matzo ball soup afterwards was a fitting consolation.
William Styrene: Darkness, Depression, and the Promulgation of American Plastics, a Prognostication for the Post-Petroleum Era
by Benjamin Fluoxetine & Perry Oxetine
Little known is the role of petroleum as the base of most pharmaceuticals. Widely known is the increasing dependence of the psychiatric community on these medications as the forefront of the standard of care. Fluoxetine and Oxetine ask the provocative question of which came first, our chemical theories of depression or the chemicals to treat them, and what will become of our much-studied diseases of despair when all the oil is gone?
Grand Mall Seizure: Symptomatology as Textual Explanation for the Decline of the Great American Shopping Mall, an Exercise in Collective Neurology
by Frances Dungguan
We're not exactly sure where in the semiological matrix rests the shopping mall, but Dungguan's geographical explication of this quintessentially American creation as a global, neurological fit offers a compelling picture of its rise and fall via the nervous system of every erstwhile mall-bound teen.
JungBloods: Collective Consciousness and the Mythopoesis of Blaxploitation, a Screenplay in Pure Baaaadaaassssssery
by H. Pap Brown
Brown's by now well known "high jive" style was the right-on corrective to Dungguan's synth-pop reveries, and his dialectical analytics funked us all up: "The dark powers providing the white powder to power the White supremacy of White people" was one notable line. We're all in this together, whether we understand the bright nature of our darker brothers or not.
PopGear: Popular Culture, Clarksonian Physics, and the Implosion of Automotive Journalism, a Review in Three Laps
by Dennis McTruckage
Even though the quality of writing at the traditional automotive magazines such as Road and Track and Car and Driver has improved in recent times, the explosion, implosion, and resurrection of the Top Gear/Grand Tour series has ruined our basic understanding of how cars actually work, argues McTruckage, leading to texting behind the wheel, the decline of driving among Millennials, and -- the bane of all gearheads everywhere -- the advent of the self-driving automobile. The message was largely lost on this Accord-piloting academic crowd, but for the few of us sporting ivy caps and lingering regrets over finally Craigslisting the old TR-6.
Snoop Dreams: Ballin', Fallin', and Recallin': Inner City Nostalgia as Hollywood Phenomenon, a Smash Hit in Three Samples
by Hillary Hardcore
Hardcore literally phoned it in, explaining her physical absence was due to numerous, credible and specific threats of bodily harm. Guess we know who got the Juice now.
From a financial point of view, there's little sense in persisting with these sorts of gatherings. They generally fail to reinforce the supremacy of the STEM fields, and they create no ostensibly innovative products, and, worse yet, they're fueled by massive amounts of traditionally brewed coffee and not this newfangled nitro stuff.
Still, one wonders what to do with all us old-skool humanities types. We need to be kept at least marginally alive in order to help undergrads write their requisite paper or two, and an adjunct English instructor tent city popping up on campus might spoil the view from atop the new climbing wall.
Notable options include seeking long-term corporate sponsorship, finding foundation money someplace, or simply going underground. Literally. Some of us aren't too bad in the kitchen and the physical plant folks always are friendlier with the keys if a pie shows up. Keep checking this space for how the next Postmodern Village conference plays out.