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The Mainly Annual
EastWesterly Review/Postmodern Village
15th Annual Conference
Grope: the Advent of the Webcam Reacharound and What It Means
for the Employment Prospects of the 16-24 Year-Old Male
by Peter P. Wankey
This debut paper by Stan Wankey's talented son brings home
the depth of disconnection between the "targeted demographic"
male and the world of stable, productive human beings upon which
the former feeds. Now, as virtual reality provides tactile stimulation
technology, this group has even less of an incentive to leave
the house. However, Wankey's suggested "gaming rooms"
in cube farms hardly seem the answer. Put down the controller,
kid, and step away from the XXX-Box.
Bobbit, the Unmusical, or The Bouncing Balls of Bra-ed Way Come
to a Sudden End
by Mam O. Grammy
Freud clued in on the fear of losing it branded on the male
of the species, but Grammy relates this to the complementary
fear de-boobification for the womynist set. It seems that all
operations are a battle between the body and its own biology,
and this gets played out as crime writ large, the bebop of the
and Pudding Pops: the Plosive, Explosive Flavor of Future Cuisine,
or GenY Comes of Age
by William "The Coz" Hopper
To a generation used to popping their grandparents' nitroglycerin
pills for a thrill, the idea of turning young people on to the
more mundane flavors of the past poses a problem. Hopper proposes
a solution—of approximately .5 oz. denatured alcohol and
a well-placed match.
Flame: High Times for Gay Hip-Hop
By Lincoln F. Bulloxxxi
Hip-hop's homophobia started way before Eminem ever dropped
his first f-bomb (the three-letter one), but some strides are
being made--slowly. With a progress report on how the stereotypes
are being shattered, from hip-hop's embrace of interior design
through MTV Cribs to the pioneering character of Gangstalicious
on The Boondocks, Lincoln quoted one rapper as saying,
"we're here, we're queer, don't shoot."
Cherubics: the Totterizing of the Classic Puzzles, a Suzuki
Conspiracy to Control the Youth of the West
by Tokanna Soweda
Not content to dominate classical music, those pushing Suzuki
techniques have branched out into puzzles and games, intent
on converting the very way the next generations think. Sedition
as Sudoku? Weirder things have happened, a concerned Soweda
notes, and this paper certainly makes clear that by driving
down the age of competence, Suzuki methods help adults lose
their sense of confidence. The play is the thing to
catch the concept that's our king.
Club Culture: Bondage and Beefsteak, the Strip Club Grows Up
by Betti LeBoef
It's not enough to serve watery beer and moistened, mushy nuts:
today's strip club must upscale if it is to remain relevant
in an era in which Isaac Mizrahi deigns to design for Target.
Not just stripping, contends LeBoef, but KC strips will pack
the pleasure palaces with clientèle used to pay-per-spew
skin flix on their big-screen TVs. But the question LeBoef neglects
to reveal and, ironically, covers up with her bevy of gyrating
dancers, is why should we care?
Room for Groupies In the Wreck (but there Is for Groupers!):
Solace in the Solitary, or Communing with Nature for the Coming-Out,
a Dive Guide
by Norma Perfect
Norma Perfect is not alone: the ranks of those who have gone
before are Rich. But this dive guide provides the lip-service,
however muffled, to those who need to know that the decision
is individual. We were all suitably inspired—and nice
depth-charts as well!
Praise Song Thanatopsic, or Dealing with Death at Church Camp,
an Inslider's Perspective
by Michael W. Grant
Contemporary praise-song, with its superficial, rah-rah approach
to spirituality, has never been very good at dealing with the
darker side of everlasting life: somebody has to die
to get there. Grant suggests that the church camp is the right
place for this with its actual safety within the convenient
metaphor of wilderness. But binary notions of heaven and hell
provide little comfort, no matter how tasty the s'mores.
Page 5: "Purewater Runs Deep."