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The Inspiration Behind Issue 7

These poems comprise the second of two issues that will deal exclusively
with one topic: the vacation of a lifetime. Hezekiah, Francine, Belle,
Jennifer, and Kathleen all went on a fabulous road trip to Graceland,
departing from Kathleen's home in Tulsa, Oklahoma. With Kathleen and
Jennifer's excursions along the way, the group managed to go through
seven states. (See Issue 6 for the previous poems.)

Do Not Touch Casket--Electrical Shock
At the Elvis is Alive Museum in Wright City, Missouri, there is a casket with a wax figure of Elvis. The sign on the coffin reads "Do Not Touch Casket--Electrical Shock." Francine is still incredibly proud of Hezekiah for not touching it, even though they both think it wasn't really electrified.

The Waitress Writes Poetry
In Union City, Tennessee, the gang stopped for lunch at Theo's Greek Restaurant. Hezekiah had his mouth all set for cabbage rolls, but instead found a buffet with chicken wings, roast beef, mashed potatoes, etc. While the food was okay, the real amusement came from eavesdropping on the staff in the booth behind them.

A City Without Fences
Red Bud, Illinois is hands down the most adorable small town we've ever seen, and part of that may be due to the lack of fences.

Your Waiter This Evening Will Be . . .
Two members of the gang (whose identities shan't be revealed) found two different waiters quite intriguing, although for different reasons.

Drive-Thru Therapy
The Waffle House in Warrenton, Missouri is a hotbed of excitement, especially its back parking lot. While we were there, we saw the manager squatting by at least two different cars, chatting to troubled-looking women.

Poo and What-not
Yes, we discovered Jackass in Paducah, Kentucky, and our lives have never been the same. God bless Johnny Knoxville.

I've Been the Governor of a Big State
We all watched the first presidential debate in a Memphis hotel room. Our jaws dropped when we heard this "pick-up line" from Gov. Bush.

Do You Know How to Make Someone Pee His Pants, Really?
Another gem stolen from that poetic waitress in Union City.

Dude, He Was All Like "Glitter, Glitter" When He Touched Me
And another.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T (in high male falsetto)
And one from her male co-worker.