If I Spoke Spanish
by Francine DuBois

If I spoke Spanish,
I tell you what I'd do.
I'd hire me a gardener
And with the lawn be through.

I'd hire me a housemaid
And all the floors she'd scrub.
The vacuum I'd abandon
And so scouring the tub.

An abuelita I'd find
To dodder, cook and nag.
She'd make huevos rancheros
And make me lunch in a bag.

She'd serve as a nanny
To the whining, noisy brats.
She'd be full of patience
During their pointless brats.

But, alas, I speak no Spanish
And I am shit out of luck.
I'm stuck with all the white folks
Who just don't give a fuck.

Francine's Version -- Hezekiah's Version
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