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var w1max = 27
var w2max = 43
var w3max = 27
var w4max = 9
var w5max = 9
var w1 = new Array(w1max)
w1[0]="Jo-Ann Whorley"
w1[1]="Goldie Hawn"
w1[2]="Ruth Buzzi"
w1[3]="Pam Dawber"
w1[4]="Cheryl Tiegs"
w1[5]="Farrah Fawcett Majors"
w1[6]="Yvonne De Carlo"
w1[7]="Cheryl Ladd"
w1[8]="Kate Jackson"
w1[9]="Jaclyn Smith"
w1[10]="Bonnie Franklin"
w1[11]="Valerie Bertinelli"
w1[12]="Meredith Birney"
w1[13]="Suzanne Somers"
w1[14]="Florence Henderson"
w1[15]="Ann B. Davis"
w1[16]="Loretta Swit"
w1[17]="Patty Duke"
w1[18]="Susan Olsen"
w1[19]="Loni Anderson"
w1[20]="Sally Kellerman"
w1[21]="Jane Curtin"
w1[22]="Eva Gabor"
w1[23]="Donna Mills"
w1[24]="Barbara Billingsly"
w1[25]="Donna Reed"
w1[26]="Karen Black"
w1[27]="Adrienne Barbeau"
var w2 = new Array(w2max)
w2[0]="Robin Williams"
w2[1]="Dick Martin"
w2[2]="Dan Rowan"
w2[3]="Jimmie Walker"
w2[4]="Conrad Janis"
w2[5]="Jerry Stiller"
w2[6]="Don Knotts"
w2[7]="John Ritter"
w2[8]="Lee Majors"
w2[9]="Charles Grodin"
w2[10]="Bob Denver"
w2[11]="Vincent Price"
w2[12]="John Forsythe"
w2[13]="Bob Crane"
w2[14]="Hal Linden"
w2[15]="Milton Berle"
w2[16]="Sherman Hemsley"
w2[17]="Scott Baio"
w2[18]="Richard Mulligan"
w2[19]="Robert Reed"
w2[20]="Barry Williams"
w2[21]="Rip Torn"
w2[22]="Dick Van Patten"
w2[23]="Alan Alda"
w2[24]="Jamie Farr"
w2[25]="Jim Nabors"
w2[26]="Orson Welles"
w2[27]="Robert Urich"
w2[28]="Jim Backus"
w2[29]="George Kennedy"
w2[30]="Scatman Crothers"
w2[31]="Rip Torn"
w2[32]="Harry Morgan"
w2[33]="Monty Hall"
w2[34]="Morey Amsterdam"
w2[35]="Charles Nelson Reilly"
w2[36]="Richard Dawson"
w2[37]="Pat Morita"
w2[38]="Norman Fell"
w2[39]="David Doyle"
w2[40]="Sonny Bono"
w2[41]="Erik Estrada"
w2[42]="Robert Goulet"
w2[43]="Abe Vigoda"
var w3 = new Array(w3max)
w3[0]="Maureen McCormick"
w3[1]="Marion Ross"
w3[2]="Vicki Lawrence"
w3[3]="Valerie Harper"
w3[4]="Shelley Long"
w3[5]="Audrey Meadows"
w3[6]="Annette Funicello"
w3[7]="Jayne Meadows"
w3[8]="Lorraine Newman"
w3[9]="Gilda Radner"
w3[10]="Melissa Gilbert"
w3[11]="Muriel Hemingway"
w3[12]="Brooke Shields"
w3[13]="Maureen Reagan"
w3[14]="Joan Rivers"
w3[15]="Jamie Lee Curtis"
w3[16]="June Allyson"
w3[17]="Rue McClanahan"
w3[18]="Tina Louise"
w3[19]="Cathy Lee Crosby"
w3[20]="Lisa Hartman"
w3[21]="Dr. Joyce Brothers"
w3[22]="Donna Pescow"
w3[23]="Hayley Mills"
w3[24]="Minnie Pearl"
w3[25]="Arlene Dahl"
w3[26]="Jill St. John"
w3[27]="Charo"
var w4 = new Array(w4max)
w4[0]="Joe Namath"
w4[1]="Larry Bird"
w4[2]="Bill Walton"
w4[3]="Rosie Greer"
w4[4]="Bill Bixby"
w4[5]="Dack Rambo"
w4[6]="Richard Roundtree"
w4[7]="David Hasselhoff"
w4[8]="Nipsy Russell"
w4[9]="Flip Wilson"
5max)
w5[0]="Diahann Carroll"
w5[1]="Marilyn McCoo"
w5[2]="Phylicia Rashad"
w5[3]="Thelma Hopkins"
w5[4]="Donna Summer"
w5[5]="Debbie Allen"
w5[6]="Charo"
w5[7]="Ethel Merman"
w5[8]="Phyllis Diller"
w5[9]="Pam Grier"
function rndnumber(max){
var randscript = -1
while (randscript < 0 || randscript > max || isNaN(randscript)){
randscript = parseInt(Math.random()*(max+1))
}
return randscript
}
function profundity() {
subscript=rndnumber(w1max)
msg = "I always loved the episode where " + w1[subscript] + " was married to "
subscript=rndnumber(w2max)
msg = msg + w2[subscript] + ", but Gopher had a crush on her. "
subscript=rndnumber(w3max)
msg = msg + "Of course, Doc was pursuing " + w3[subscript] 
subscript=rndnumber(w4max)
msg = msg + " and avoiding her boyfriend " + w4[subscript] + ", "
subscript=rndnumber(w5max)
msg = msg + "My favorite part was the romantic music that played when Isaac walked with " + w5[subscript] + " along the beach. Now that's magical."
return msg
}
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