Winning in Brownbackistan: A Guide for British Bettors

Geoff Doulton

Issue 31 * Fall 2012

With print journalism in crisis and free internships often benefiting only the wealthy who can afford to work without pay, a remarkable coalition of newspapers, magazines, trade and academic journals have offered exchange programs. For example, an intern at an academic journal in the Midwest may spend a week in London at a horse racing magazine, and vice versa. Some fits are better than others. This is all to give interns a more diverse experience and better preparation for the ever-changing job field. What follows is the result of one such exchange.

1) Remember bets are for entertainment purposes only.

2) Think as the lord of the manor, though there are no lords in the States.

3) Americans always go with their gut, which is why "all-you-can-eat" buffets are always in casinos.

4) Smoking is allowed indoors publicly if you are gambling in a casino since you have already proven you accept risk.

5) If you wish to gamble and be taxed at only 15%, choose stocks instead.

6) No one knows exactly what is going to happen in the future, except for insider traders and lobbyists.

7) What is your risk level? Will you speak your opinion when leadership disagrees? Will you pick the untried horse in which no others believe? Will you just stick with the horse who has a (R) after his name and is therefore usually assured victory?

8) Does your belief system include a god that answers prayers for particular horses to win? Might other people of the same faith be sending prayers for different horses? Must you wait for your pastor to make his picks before you choose your bets? Is this necessarily a problem for faith?

9) The human mind wants to find patterns where there may not be any.

10) The House always wins. Sometimes the Senate does, but less frequently. You never will.