| EastWesterly
Review
|
The Mainly Annual
EastWesterly Review/Postmodern Village
14th Annual Conference
 Nathaniel
Hawthorne's Long Lost Uncle Remus Tales: Young B'rerman Rabbit
and the He-art of Black Puritanism
by Sisyphus "Retread" Jones
Jones's typical erudition was marred, slightly,
by his attempt to re-create Hawthorne's own tortured failure
to represent the Southern vernacular in print. The screening
of early, unreleased (and for years repressed by the Hawthorne
and Disney estates) cartoon versions of the 19th century American
master's little known cycle of black folk tales was fascinating,
and their use as unauthorized tools for recruiting Jehovah's
Witnesses up through the 1970s is necessary information for
any serious scholar. Donations to Dr. Jones's legal fund may
be made through the link at this website. |
 Smith
Barney & Barney and Friends: the Challenge of Marketing
Financial Services to the Millennial Generation
by Mare L. Ynch
The cadre of kids suffering under the cellular
tether and "safe" under the aegis of "helicopter
moms" has now begun (reluctantly and with an unprecedented
sense of entitlement) to enter the workforce. That means serious
financial for the Millennials is lurking in the near future
like a pedophile in the chatroom of a Bratz fanfic
blog. Ynch addresses the problem of kids who blew the roof off
their credit limits in high school to "be down wid the
savings and investment thang." Her solution? Appeal to
their residual infantilism by bundling financial services with
friendly cartoon characters from the Millennials' idyllic past.
But is Wall Street really ready for SpongeBob 410(k)Pants?
|
 Doin'
the Chokey-Pokey: The Strangling Game as X-treme Sport: Autoerotic
Asphyxiation Cums to the Millennial Generation
by Mike L. Hutch-Antz
This reporter would not have believed it had
it not grabbed him and squeezed out all doubt. But as convincing
as the paper was, it positively blew away anyone under the age
of 25, though there were many murmuring "What's INXS? Some
kind of hippie band or something?" One wonders, though,
along with Mare L. Ynch, who attended out of a sense of professional
duty, if all this isn't the result of over-protection from well-meaning
Baby Boomer parents. Hutch-Antz had a compelling thesis, but
the first person testimonials of the often still bruised (!)
youngsters was truly gripping.
|
 Burn
Bollywood Burn, I Smell a Rayat Going Down: Peasant Hunting
as Sport in the Snuff Films of Priya Singh
by V.J. Singh (no relation)
"Never have so many been killed by so few,"
said one reviewer of Priya Singh's films -- and that was just
of the opening credits. With dance numbers that call for 1000
Uzis (and other goodies looted from Afghanistan) and a swinging
soundtrack by Ashe Bhosle (also stolen), Singh's films have
quite the cult following. The interactive element in this presentation
was a bit disturbing though and reminded this reviewer a bit
too much of the most dangerous game of Laser Tag ever. |
 Autoerotic
Alliteration: Tolkien, Poe, and Seamus Heaney's Beowulf as Purveyors
of and Venues for Highbrow Formalistic Porn
by Al N. Blume
Ever notice how formalists are generally really,
really into formalism? Blume suggests why: line length
is not linked to breath so much as breathlessness. Recent brain
scans, he notes through PowerPoint slides of MRI headshots,
show that scansion excites the same region in formalists as
naughty pictures do for normal, well-adjusted fans of free-verse.
Think of it as dancing, Blume says, or the substitute for "parking"
evolved in a pre-car and very proper world of stuffy, drawing
room affairs.
|
 The
Evolution Will Not Be Televised: Theocracy as Press Conference
in America's Heartland
by Steve and Jay Goold
Taking their cues from the recent show trial
by the (then) conservative-controlled Kansas State School Board
trying to justify their pro Intelligent Design science standards,
the Goold brothers say such things are indications of the, um,
"change over time" that has taken place in fundamentalist
circles. Once pilloried by the once more media-savvy Left, the
Christian Right has not only largely taken over the public pulpit,
it has, in a postmodern twist, begun to control the content
of almost all media by completely defining its terms. Argument
is reduced to slogan and slogan is infinitely replicated as
talking point. Having half the paper delivered by a ventriloquist-voiced
T-Rex was the perfect touch. |
 Murdoch
and the Bounty: how Conservative Media Fuels Multinational Laissez-Faire
Capitalist Hegemony, or Hearst II, the Wrath of Kane
by Clare Lootz-Boot
Lootz-Boot is perhaps the first serious scholar to tackle
the relationship between the G8, the World Bank, the IMF, the
Chicago School of Business, and the corporate media outlets
that "cover" these multinational organizations. Ever
notice how globalization is a fait accompli according
to every broadcast news show, Time, Newsweek,
and all the major papers? In the work of Lootz-Boot's much cited
fictional avatar, the people think "What I tell them to
think." We all know, though, that Murdoch's Xanadu lies
in the editorial offices of the Wall Street Journal.
Given how much he's willing to spend, no doubt his Moby Dick
swims there as well. |
 Shut
Your Blowhole, Mr. Chucklesmith, Darling: Images of Otolaryngology
in Dickens' Bleak House and Beyond
by William Guppy, Esq.
Mr. Guppy appeared, hat in hand, to ask, most humbly, for the
attention of the audience; all the while phlegmatic patients'
red and green gangrenous sinuses flashed onscreen behind. One
finds it difficult to decry the Victorian proprieties of Guppy's
delivery, but the visuals were disturbingly contrapuntal to
the staid, almost New Critical text of the paper itself. |
Page 3: I'll have to transfer
you. One moment, please.
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